Tonight I decided to start what I am calling “a full moon ritual”. Every month when the full moon lights up my night sky, I plan to choose one thing to organize. After all, a full moon represents culmination, fruition, fullness, and completion. Why not complete a task that I overlook or put off on daily basis? I will rid myself of one more thing on my subconscious “to do” list.
I decided to start this ritual with the lovely task of organizing and cleaning out my closet. How poetic. Of course, I would choose to clean out my closet as my first full moon ritual! I look at it as a sign that I need to clean out many things in my “mental” closet as well. My closet is possibly the most difficult thing for me to organize. Why? Because, for some reason clothes are the one thing I have a hard time parting ways with. When I moved across the country, my car was packed to the brim (I am not even exaggerating) with my clothes. I may not have had furniture when I moved, but no matter where I lived, the closet was full.
Looking through my clothes, I had to laugh. I always ask for guidance in ways that I will understand when I feel lost. I consistently expect some BIG SIGN that will be as clear as day. I can’t say that I have ever had one of those ah-ha moments that they show in the movies, where a sign comes in the form of an actual “sign”. Usually, it comes to me in the most obscure way, like when I am doing the menial and sometimes painful task of cleaning out my closet. The Universe is funny like that.
As I sifted through my clothes this evening, I found so many pieces that I had completely forgotten I had. I also came across many clothes that simply don’t fit anymore, yet I hold on to them with hopes that someday, they will. My cluttered closet full of clothes that don’t “fit” are just like the negative thought patterns, or stories that I keep sitting around in my consciousness. They are taking up my precious “mental” closet space. Just like clothes, thought patterns can be changed and acquired easily, so why do I have such a hard time letting go of them?
So, now I have some choices to make. I can either organize my closet, stacking and compartmentalizing the various shirts and pants in neat spaces out of view so that I can go back and pick them up when/if I want to wear them. Or-I can clean out my closet and clear some serious space. Letting go of certain thought patterns, beliefs, and stories is just as difficult as letting go of the pink low cut shirt that I bought in 2007 and rocked all summer long. Although it had it’s time, every time I put it on now, I am frustrated because it doesn’t fit like it used to, and frankly, it just isn’t me anymore.
My full moon ritual turned out to be so much more than I bargained for. It is the perfect example of why I love yoga so much. For me, yoga is much more a mental practice than a physical practice. Without even realizing it, I practiced yoga tonight. I practiced several of the yamas and niyamas. Satya, in being truthful with my own shortcomings and possibly being on the hoarder line with my clothes. Aparigraha, in having non-attachment toward thoughts and things. Saucha, cleaning, organizing, purifying. Tapas, by having the self discipline to look within and to also have the discipline to get rid of things, which definitely caused some fire inside. Svadhyaya, self study, shouldn’t I have a P.H.D in me by now? Finally, Ishvara Pranidana, surrender. I surrender to the clothes god’s, my clothes that no longer feel like me. But, most importantly, I surrender to the divine, loving energy of the Universe. I heard you, loud and clear. Thank you.